When we feel anxious, our minds and bodies go into protection mode. The racing heart, sweaty palms, or rapid thoughts are signs that our system is on high alert. In these moments, many people naturally reach for something to make them feel safer—whether that’s avoiding eye contact, carrying a bottle of water, sitting near the exit, or endlessly checking their phone. These actions are known as safety behaviours.
What Are Safety Behaviours?
Safety behaviours are strategies we use to reduce the immediate discomfort of anxiety or to prevent a feared outcome. They can be obvious, like avoiding public speaking, or subtle, like rehearsing sentences in your head before speaking. On the surface, they make sense—if something feels threatening, it’s natural to protect yourself.
Examples include:
- Avoiding social events to prevent embarrassment.
- Always carrying medication “just in case.”
- Repeatedly checking your body for signs of illness.
- Reassuring yourself with constant Googling.
- Choosing a seat closest to the exit.
These behaviours are not “bad” in themselves. They serve a purpose: they give us short-term relief from the anxiety. The problem is what happens in the long run.
Why Do We Do Them?
Our brains are wired for survival. Anxiety is essentially a false alarm, but it feels real in the moment. Safety behaviours step in as quick fixes: “If I do this, I’ll feel calmer” or “If I avoid this, I won’t panic.” For example, someone with social anxiety may bring a friend to a party to act as a buffer. In the moment, this reduces distress.
How Do Safety Behaviours Keep Anxiety Going?
Here’s the catch: safety behaviours can actually feed anxiety over time. When we rely on them, we never truly discover whether the feared situation is as dangerous as our anxiety suggests. For example, if you always avoid speaking up at work, you never learn that most people are supportive—or that you can cope with making a mistake.
This creates a cycle:
- You feel anxious.
- You use a safety behaviour to manage it.
- Anxiety eases temporarily.
- The brain learns, “I survived because I used the safety behaviour.”
- Next time, anxiety shows up again—often stronger.
Instead of building confidence, safety behaviours quietly reinforce the belief that you need protection to cope.
Moving Towards Change
The good news is that with gradual steps, it’s possible to reduce safety behaviours and build resilience. In therapy, this often involves experiments: gently testing out situations without the safety net.
For example:
- Speaking in a meeting without over-rehearsing.
- Leaving the house without carrying “just in case” items.
- Attending a social event without checking your phone.
The goal is not to throw yourself into overwhelming situations, but to experiment in a manageable way. Each time you face a fear without leaning on safety behaviours, you collect real-life evidence that you can cope. Over time, this builds confidence and reduces anxiety’s power.
Final Thoughts
Safety behaviours are a natural response to anxiety, and most of us use them without even noticing. They’re understandable, but they can quietly trap us in the cycle of fear. By becoming more aware of them and gently testing life without them, you can begin to retrain your mind and body to see the world as less threatening—and yourself as more capable.
Jimmy Williams, Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy 